The closet light
Wife: Will you please go and check that the closet light is off.
Me: I can see that it is off because there is no light coming under the door.
Wife: Are you sure that it is off I don’t want it getting too hot.
Me: I am sure.
Wife: go open the door and make sure.
Wife: go open the door
Wife: no sex for you
Me: damnit (still not getting up)
Wife: I am serious.
Wife: (hits me inadverdantly in the junk or at least I hope so)
Me: Well now I am sure as hell not getting up and checking the light because I can’t walk.
Me: (In head I win)
Wife: if you don’t get up I will hit you in the balls on purpose this time